His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
