He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
