She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
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