That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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