I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
