ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
