Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
