Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
