I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
