I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.�
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
