sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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