dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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