THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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