Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
