she sounds like chewbacca in bed
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
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