I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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