It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
