Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
