I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
