i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
You need a sexual gate keeper
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
