can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
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