she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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