I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
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