if you like me you must not know who I am
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Randomize
