Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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