i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Randomize
