it hurts more in the daytime
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
