Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
