I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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