is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
