Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
