I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
