She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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