I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
