she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
