My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
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