Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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