I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
