summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
