Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
