You're so nebulous sometimes
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
