I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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