So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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