oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Randomize
