I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Randomize
