She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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