Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize