is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
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