508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
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