I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
